Week 15: Kicking and Screaming (but Going Anyway)
Most of us might assume, when we read the title of the essay, that it’s a child who is kicking and screaming…but going anyway. But no! In this case, it’s the parent. In this story, a step-mother learns that she can choose the lens through which she views her children and her step-children, and this shapes how she feels and acts toward them.
Coincidentally, I just came across this quote that I think speaks so beautifully to what this week’s story is about:
“We claim autonomy for ourselves and forget that in so doing we can fall into the tyranny of defining other people as we would like them to be. By focusing on what we choose to acknowledge in them, we impose an insidious control on them. I notice that I have to pay careful attention in order to listen to others with an openness that allows them to be as they are, or as they think themselves to be. The shutters of my mind habitually flip open and click shut, and these little snaps form into patterns I arrange for myself. The opposite of this inattention is love, is the honoring of others in a way that grants them the grace of their own autonomy and allows mutual discovery.”
-Anne Truitt, mid-20th century sculptor
After you listen, some questions for reflection…
- When Petrie struggles to love her children she chooses the vision that brings about her acting toward the kids with love, which makes her more tender and compassionate toward them. What are times when this could be a good practice for you? Is choosing to act with love enough when family life gets difficult? When has it worked for you?
- Does it ever feel like the members of your family are going through life in very different ways? How do you show up for each other nonetheless? What does it take for you to end up in the same place together at the end?
When you reach the point of too-much-togetherness, re-adjust your lens and may you find patience and love once again!
With you on the adventure,
Rev. Beth
