Respect each other’s time – We start and end on time.
Move up / Move back – If you tend to take up space in the conversation move back and if you tend to be on the quiet side, move up — all voices are welcome in this circle, but it is okay to pass.We promise to practice centering the experiences of people of color, since they are so often silenced and erased in white society and institutions.
Cultivate a brave space – We may feel discomfort, but we will not be unsafe. Take risks, keep going, lean into your growing edge. Although those of us who are white may at times feel guilt and shame in response to the stories we hear, we promise to keep open to the experiences of people of color and not our only own emotions. We will find trusted others with whom to process painful feelings outside of this discussion time.
Listen for understanding – Rather than to just respond. Before giving advice, ask if it is welcome. We promise to refrain from problem-solving discussions.
Ouch / Oops – When someone says something that is hurtful, say, “ouch”. When someone says ouch, respond with oops (or I’m sorry). Do not ask for an explanation. Follow up after the meeting or at a break to apologize. Do not require the person to explain or defend why they were hurt by what you said. If they offer an explanation, thank them. This is part of how to enact Impact (how your words impacted another) > Intent (when you meant no harm) in our circles.
Value Multiple Voices / Claim Your Opinions – Everyone comes at this from their own perspective. Use “I” statements rather than generalities that may dismiss someone else’s lived experience.
Confidentiality – The particulars of what a person shares here stays here. You can talk with others a concept you learn about, but do not share someone else’s story without their explicit permission. So what’s said stays here, but what’s learned leaves here.
Respect the facilitators – we are volunteers and co-congregants who desire to offer you this space and time.
Values – We promise to approach this discussion with humility. We will promote the idea of mutual interest, in particular for white people, to help us move from the idea of helping others, or just thinking about what is good for us, to understand that our own liberation as white people, our own humanity, is inextricably linked to racial justice. Mutual interest means we cannot overcome the challenges we face unless we work for racial justice. It means our own freedom is bound up in the freedom of people of color. We embrace a mindset of abundance and that there is enough for everyone.
