What Your Young Adults Aren't Telling You
Roger Grape
A lot of young adult ministry is about breaking down walls of stigmas, stereotypes and assumption – young people about older people, and vice versa.
Myth or Reality:
There is a Collective “Young Adult” Culture – Myth (they have varied musical tastes, clothing styles, political opinions, socio-economic status, work, educational aspirations, etc.)
All Young Adults Prefer “Contemporary Services” – Myth (many prefer traditional “high church,” though a contemporary style may be preferred by some)
Same Age = Compatibility – Myth (imagine trying to socialize with six other random members from your congregation)
Young Adult Groups NEED the Regular Presence of Support Staff – Reality (young adult groups cannot and should not be self-sustaining, due to predatory behavior and socially awkward/disruptive members. Younger women often feel unsafe in these groups. Minister needs to check in with the group on a regular basis. Ask how things are going with individual members and their experiences. How does staff member age affect viability of young adult groups? It depends on the task at hand. Sometimes the staff member needs to help facilitate and let the young adults take control, and sometimes the staff member needs to do more mentoring, or do the task themselves.
Young Adults Aren’t Likely Congregational Stewards – Myth (young adults are often overlooked during annual budget drives)
Young Adults make excellent congregational presidents – Reality (A good present, not future leader – don’t be condescending). Try putting a young adult on your Board.
One Group Fits All – Myth (various age groups have different needs – campus bound, post high-school, entering the work force, singles, partnered and/or kids.
Young Adults only want to hang out with others their age – Myth (young adult groups meet the needs of some, not all; Ask what FEEDS them; seek various entry points for leadership and involvement. The more you know them, talk to them, etc., the more involved they will become).
Do All Young Adults Come from Outside the Church? – Myth (many young adults move around a lot; approach young adults and assume they might have been “grown by us;” accept them as a UUer, not a newcomer).
Your Loss is someone else’s Gain – Reality (transition and change/endings are inevitable; take pride and pleasure in making a “lasting impact;” initiate communication with the destination congregation; if you can, get them connected with other UUs in their destination area (requires networking).
What We Can Do:
Be role models to young adults
Ask questions, assume nothing
Engage authentically (ask questions that show you are interested in them as a person)
ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE
Contact Office of Young Adult Ministries – if we don’t have one in our district, we need to ask WHY we don’t have one.
We need to be more open to having young adults serving as more active participants in congregational life.
Have them develop their own Social Action or Community Service project that involves the whole congregation.
Watch what you are doing – you will put off some young adults if you invite them to a wine & cheese event if they can’t yet drink alcohol.
Watch personal physical & emotional boundaries (good advice for every age!)
My take on this workshop: I went to this workshop because I wasn't sure about whether we even have an organized YA group. I think the presenters had some good information and insights for us. I would also be curious to find out what some of our young adults think about this information.
Respectfully Submitted,
Roger Grape
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